Tag Archives: Drew

A Slightly Irrational, Very Fundamental Shift.

20 May

For the 6 months after being laid off, all I wanted, and rather badly, was a job.

I wanted a job so I could feel stable again. So I could have health insurance. So I could put more money away in my CD. So I could fly to NYC or SF to visit friends, or just plain go shopping.

But aside from the emotional implications of having a job, which mainly meant gaining stability back, what we were talking about was the money. I wanted a job for the money. Because money meant that I could do things, pay for things I wanted, but maybe didn’t necessarily need.

But ever since the week of May 4th–the week I became a grad student again–it’s not the money that I want. The stability that I need to function, I will lean on my family for.

Now, all that I want, that I desire, and obsess over, is a grade.

Yes friends, now, all that I want is a C or better in my Quantitative Analysis course. That’s all I want. (I got my Organizational Behavior class covered, yo, it’s like a given that I’ll get an A in that class. I love it too much to get anything close to a B.)

Isn’t it funny how life changes overnight? Now, I couldn’t really give a shit about money, or getting a job.

Funnily enough, despite the fact that I stopped applying for jobs about a month ago, last week I got called back for a job interview, for a job I’d actually be pretty damned good at doing. But walking out of that 4-person panel interview, suddenly I got a bit disgusted.

Two of the four panel members were kind of rude and stiff. (Later, a fellow classmate of mine told me that she had a similar experience interviewing for the current job she has, totally rude people, and that she thought she didn’t get it.) All I could think as I went back to my car was,

“How could these people be so rude! As if that job was as important as my Quant grade?!! Don’t these people get what’s truly at stake?!”

[I know it was totally irrational, but that’s why this is being written on my blog, and not anywhere else.] The point is, I just realised my brain made a fundamental shift–I didn’t want to deal with their emotional bullshit, because it only served to aggravate me when I had “bigger” things on my mind than their interdepartmental shite.

This blog entry is written neither to illustrate how stressed out I am, nor to illustrate how irrational I’m becoming. Au contraire, I’m almost being an anthropologist examining the innards of my own brain, a brain that is slowly taking on a cultural shift that I myself am almost not in charge of. It again illustrates how being laid off was a mixed blessing, because at the age of 28, I feel I’d much rather be concerned with my Quant grade, than some arbitrary job that will probably end up being a dead end.

Regarding the job, now I wonder what I would do if I were offered the position. Six months ago, I would have jumped on it. Now, I’m not so sure.

And if Murphy’s Law has any say in it, just you watch, I’ll be offered this job.

The Bottom Rung

10 Nov

Married To The Sea
marriedtothesea.com

Collapse.

9 Oct

Okay, okay, so you have to allow me my BarackTheVote! moment today because I’ve been really well-behaved these past few days. Not very non-partisan, but still, well-behaved. Right? 😀 Right?!

Married To The Sea
marriedtothesea.com

Put An Olive Garland On Her

7 Oct

My blog used to be more about fun and randomness, and now it’s all up in arms with activism and a decidedly serious tone of “BarackTheVOTE!“, Kai accuses me.

Heck, at one point I even wrote about romance! Mah! Haha! How funny!

And it’s true, she’s right. I guess the thought of the immense challenges that befall the American masses before and after the election are weighing just a bit too much on my shoulders. I’m stressing out about things I can’t change right this second, and might not ever be able to change. I’m getting depressed about the wrongs committed to the vast, helpless middle classes that I can’t go back to prevent.

I haven’t felt this sad in general about our country since 9-11. But even then, we had that certain brilliance that we could hang onto, that reassuring feeling we got when we saw footage of firefighters, policemen, and even non-uniformed civilians slaving away at Ground Zero, looking for anything, anyone. We knew then, for sure, that we were Americans, we were in in this together, and damnit, we were going to make it out alive, and raring to go.

I keep thinking–sighing, really–about what we could have done as a nation if we only could have harnessed that can-do spirit and used it for the good of the country and the world at large, instead of the messy. We all know the story after that. The war in Iraq. The undermining of the American financial system. High stakes corporate, executive-level corruption. Bush.

Those brave Americans at Ground Zero became a symbol of those tough times. And for these demoralized times now, we have this woman to serve as our symbol. Put a olive garland on her, dress her in silken robes, and hand her the torch. She shall be our new Olympia.

I don’t know how to fix this anxiety I have. If I weren’t unemployed, it most definitely would be less. It’s like tOdd says in his first episode of Laid Off, “So I woke up on the late side–[10:30am] because I can’t seem to sleep anymore at night for a variety of reasons.”

I am finding the things I used to love immensely are losing their luster for me. I have tickets to the Ahmanson in a few weeks to see 9 to 5…I’m considering selling them, partially for the lack of a date, partially for the “I don’t feel like going” factor. I don’t even feel like going out to have drinks with my fellow alums for the mixer this Thursday night. I just want to stay home and watch more news, or listen to more NPR, or watch my fake news husband Stephen, or his friend Jon.

Someone reach through the monitor and either bop me on the head, or throttle me awake! Help!

But for tonight, let me have Drew entertain you instead, with two cartoons that actually managed to make me laugh out loud, in addition to the serious tone the other one below set. I know, I know, I have seriously dry humor, but hey, it’s me. What do you want? 🙂

toothpaste for dinner
toothpastefordinner.com

toothpaste for dinner
toothpastefordinner.com

Sorry if that wasn’t entertaining in the least. 😉

Disaster Sundae, Anyone?

7 Oct

Believe it or not, this is a vintage Toothpaste for Dinner, and yet, Drew is relevant as ever, right on the mark. The original publication date on this is 16 Dec 2006.

toothpaste for dinner
toothpastefordinner.com

Just goes to remind us all that we have been in this muck for years. The economic fallout of this week is only the shiny little red maraschino cherry on top of this disaster sundae.

They Didn’t Specify Gauloises Red or Gauloises Blue?

12 Sep

Personally, I prefer Gauloises Red. Ah, haven’t had a drag of one of those since I was in Paris two years ago. How sad.

toothpaste for dinner
toothpastefordinner.com

Why Don’t You Go Back To The Forest.

9 Sep

The best part is the last two sentences. Ha ha! I can hear him saying it.

Married To The Sea
marriedtothesea.com