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I KNEW IT!

1 Nov

Thank you to Finucane for this explanation about why the educational system is a mess:

I have a Economics test tomorrow that is worth a massive chunk of my grade. Shall I bother cramming and pulling and all nighter?

“C” is for…….

28 Oct

An old friend of mine, who completed law school years ago–and therefore understands the intricacies of detesting grad school–asked me how B-school was treating me. Keep in mind as you’re reading, I would say that this individual is in the top 3 of the smartest people I have ever known.

LoveMeDeux: I live a quite singular lifestyle…I remember you talking about your days just studying until you couldn’t stand the sight of the inside of your apartment anymore–remember that feeling? Yeah, that’s me now.

Counselor: Yeah, I hear the first year blows and the second year is schmoozing for a gig.

LoveMeDeux: I studied for a test until I was bleeding from my eyeballs–and all I got was a C+. But really, who cares? I realised that midway through 1st year (me right now), you stop giving a feck about the grade, and you just want to survive. That’s when I calmed down and began to enjoy learning. But of course, I learned the tough way–hyperventilating at every grade/paper/test the first trimester.

Counselor: Yeah, I did not give a shit about my grades in law school, graduated just under the 50% mark even with being Dean’s List for four semesters…and I enjoyed myself. Unlike the other douchebags in my class.

Relax. Remember, “C” is for graduate!

Now that, haha, is the best rule of thumb that any former grad student has ever passed down to me!

So *THIS* Is Burnout. (I’m Doing It For The Sweatpants.)

7 Jul

My friend Cornelius got a job in San Francisco! His dashing element of “*Pow* Bitch! MBA!!!” paid off, and now he’s settled in the lovely San Fran Bay peptalking me through the home stretch of my first trimester.

LoveMeDeux: I was doing ok, now I feel dejected.
Cornelius: Awwww
LoveMeDeux: I’m in the home stretch…4 more weeks of school. Did you ever feel that way?
Cornelius: All the time, all the fecking time.
LoveMeDeux: I was ok for 10 weeks, trying to scrap. but no matter how much I study, the test is still only about 60% of sh!t I know and the 40% is just fecking nebulous bullsh!t you make up?! It happened to you too?
Cornelius: Of course it did. You’ll make it by. You’re not comfortable with just doing that but it’s what happens. I was so worried I was going to fail out of the program initially.
LoveMeDeux: It’s like…we’re all at the point where we’re like bargaining. Like “Feck…I fecked up that test, it was a 7/10..so I need to crank this paper..will you read it?” “Yeah I will read yours if you read mine?” “I will totally read yours…we need A’s on this.”
Cornelius: You’ll be just fine. Don’t worry. This is not one of those times to worry.
LoveMeDeux: Yeah, that’s 2 trimesters from now in Finance. Ugh.
Cornelius: Come on, LoveMeDeux.
LoveMeDeux: UGH.
Cornelius: Cheer up.
LoveMeDeux: OH CORNELIUS…I am sick of it already.
Cornelius: I know. Ok. You know how much MBAs get post school right?
LoveMeDeux: Were you sick of it after the first semester?
Cornelius: Mmhmm, but I didn’t have a choice.
LoveMeDeux: Yeah, I got my business cards. I’m locked in. It’s final. It says “MBA Candidate, 2011” so I’m screwed.
Cornelius: No no. It means the end is imminent.
LoveMeDeux: Today I was thinking about the 15 weeks of pain that will start in September to December, the next trimester. And I felt like I felt the first week of classes…drowning. Panic.
Cornelius: No, no we all go through it. That’s part of the process. It’s not just classes.
LoveMeDeux: Those are some words of wisdom that I cannot process right now for some reason.
Cornelius: I know, because its tough to accept.
LoveMeDeux: Is it hilarious how having business cards locks you in? Like, “Oh snap! I had the official Pepperdine University business cards printed, I can’t back out and quit school now!”
Cornelius: LOL
LoveMeDeux: And the decal? and the sweatpants? I can’t give up the sweatpants. They’re like yoga pants. They’re blue. They say “Pepperdine”. I can’t.
Cornelius: Hahaha. I figured it was the student loans and sense of failure. But, yeah, sweatpants.
LoveMeDeux: Yeah. They’re comfortable.

Ha! “Student loans and sense of failure.” But no, I’m doing it for the business cards and the sweatpants.

That, and I don’t want to peel the decal off of my car if I drop out.

Grad School Truism No.3

15 Jun

Cornelius graduated his MBA program this past week, and I am one jealous girl! Congratulations to Cornelius! I can’t wait to be over with it, and I have a long 2 years to go. Meanwhile, I have discovered another Grad School Truism. As communicated to Cornelius, there is no spoon*.

Cornelius: So, how’s life otherwise?
LoveMeDeux: Um, otherwise?
Cornelius: Lacking?
LoveMeDeux: Don’t you know? Can’t you tell?
LoveMeDeux: Life = School.
LoveMeDeux: School = Life.

*spoon = life outside of an MBA program.

Good Jury Duty Book? "Spreadsheet Modeling & Decision Analysis, 5e" by Cliff Ragsdale

12 Jun

It is one of the most boring books that I have ever, ever read in my life, and furthermore, since I haven’t touched real math since senior year of high school, it is quite challenging, and regularly hurts my liberal arts feelings.

However, I need to take this book with me because I will be forced to read it, locked down in the courtroom with no other alternatives. I’ve only done a third of the assigned reading.

God, graduate-level math really sucks.

*Pow*, MBA B!tch! What Up?!!

8 Jun

Seriously, my friend Cornelius.

He cracks me the feck up, serious.

And the MBA conversations continue between yours truly, the MBA novice who is only halfway through her first trimester, and Cornelius, my friend who will graduate his program this week.

LoveMeDeux: This week one your fellow Anderson students told me about the “secret MBA handshake”.
Cornelius: ?
LoveMeDeux: I have no idea.
Cornelius: Me neither, and I’m an Anderson MBA too.
LoveMeDeux: She just said “Yeah well, it doesn’t matter if you’re Graziadio, we have the secret MBA handshake”
Cornelius: Alright…if she says so…
LoveMeDeux: Yeah. I’m like WTF? At the time I was like, “Uh, yeah..the secret handshake, right…”
LoveMeDeux: I don’t “get” MBA people.
Cornelius: ?
LoveMeDeux: It is almost like…a little arrogance? But “justified” arrogance?
Cornelius: Ok no. Cornelius’ MBA Rules.
LoveMeDeux: Ok, tell.
Cornelius: #1 – Any MBA student that tells you directly, or somehow implies, that his or her completion of an MBA has somehow made them better at any one of the following: 1) Project management, 2) Finance, 3) Leadership, 4) Sex, or 5) Any area related to life or business is lying to you.
LoveMeDeux: HAHAHaaaaaa!!!! I think that’s what she was implying with the secret handshake!
Cornelius: It’s the ultimate in MBA bullshit.
LoveMeDeux: It is! People act like they’re somewhat more entitled! Like they’re more equipped.
Cornelius: The only thing an MBA is allowed to say is that they completed a rather arduous application process that is more thorough than what companies have the time or interest in doing themselves. I challenge them all the time. I know what they learn, I know how they learn it. There are some of the skills good, yes. But show it!
Cornelius: Don’t just go *pow* MBA, bitch! What’s up!
LoveMeDeux: Seriously. Don’t act like God reached down & touched you.
Cornelius: If that happened, I’d expect to cum.
LoveMeDeux: OMFG!!!!!!! You are fucking hilarious!!!
Cornelius: Too sacrilegious?
LoveMeDeux: Nooo noo, that’s not what I’m laughing at! I’m laughing at the “MBA, bitch, what up!”
Cornelius: 🙂 You missed my witty banter.
LoveMeDeux: I did!!! I just saw you say it: “Pow! Mba bitch, what up!!” In your whiteboy way! That was amazing. Thank you, I totally lost it laughing.
Cornelius: Gracias! 🙂

…But It Beats Working.

31 May

School is hell, but it beats working.

Oh Matt Groening, truer words have never been spoken.

I find myself in this kind of weird half-state a lot of times. Like, sometimes I really give a sh!t, and am scared sh!tless and dreading that whatever is taught in the next class period is something that I won’t understand.

Then I alternate between that and not really giving a sh!t, thinking “Oh well, if I don’t get it, then I’ll pass it next semester.”

Also, I freak out and write good papers two hours before they’re due…but some other times, I can’t be bothered, even though I know I really should be busting my butt on something.

Seriously, I don’t know where this range of emotions is coming from. I clearly need to work on this. Here’s a list:

  • Time management: Clearly, I have little to none in this arena of time management. I have come from a work environment that was working in a constant state of being reactionary. Which means I am still used to doing everything last minute, as I was given no real lead-time. Now that I have all this lead time, I really don’t know what to do with it.
  • Discipline: I sometimes succumb to having no discipline in my life. It’s literally been nearly a decade since I was a student last, and I have no disciplinary infrastructure, where I come home, do my homework, and go play. I need to self-enforce the idea of get up in the am, grab coffee and breakfast, hit the gym, shower, do some reading+homework, go home, make dinner, sleep. It is so hard, because when it comes down to it, I really just want to sleep in–and I end up kicking myself when it ends up being 5pm and I have read 4 pages out of this humongous chapter.
  • Quality(?): This is something I need to work with my classmates on, using them as a standard/reference, because oftentimes, I am finding that I have no idea what my profs expect from me. I’m feeling like, “Thanks for your übergeneric, seriously vague description in the syllabus of what you want from this paper, but what the heck is it that you really want?!”

The hilarious thing is, despite the fact that I feel like I’m internally struggling with all these huge “problems”, I have been asked several times during the trimester already, “Hey, what do we have due in this class today?” That just cracks me up, because I was the student in elementary school through to undergrad asking my classmates, “Do we have anything due in __?!”

I guess the fact that I am paranoid and overcompensating for my nervousness of being a student again makes me “appear” to be in charge. Ha!