Tag Archives: WTF?!

*You* Be The Judge.

6 Jun

I just had a fight with my one of my best friends. We’ve been BFFs for going on 6 years and never had a fight until tonight. It’s a momentous occasion.

Sadly it is a fight that’s been borne of both of us neglecting addressing it, and tonight, it came to a head. Here are the facts, cold & simple:

On New Year’s Eve 2008/2009, I was with my BFF (He’s male) and some other friends at an trendyish LA bar.

There he met his current girlfriend, Linda.

When I saw him chatting with her and some other people, I went over to say hi and introduce myself, and I went to get a water, as the night was winding to an end, and I had to drive. A cold water right before I leave the bar always keeps me in good condition to drive home.

When I went up to talk to them, Linda (who, at the time, was just some other girl in the bar) scoffed at me. I shit you not, she SCOFFED at me. She did not tell me her name. She did not even look at me, aside from the original glance. I thought that was rude.

Then I realised that this girl didn’t realise I was my BFF’s friend and was with him partying that night. She might have thought that I was trying to hit on him?

The thing that really hurt me was that he didn’t stop to tell her, “Oh hey, this is my friend, she’s here with me tonight.” He actually ignored me, and said, “So…” and turned back to talk to Linda.

I told him that it hurt me. He sort of apologized to me about it. I got a sorry, but it was after I mentioned first that he hurt me, and it was via text. That kind of hurt too.

Then he started to date Linda, seriously.

I never asked him to break up with her. I never said anything about her, actually. But he knew how I felt about her–she was rude, and he was wrong to not have explained to her that I was his friend. He was wrong to have never bridged that issue and manage our friendship. He understood and agreed.

Time passes.

About a month ago, he moves from Chicago to San Diego, which is only a 2 hr drive from me.

He forgets to tell me, his supposed “BFF” that he moved to a place that’s 2 hrs from me. Suddenly, a week ago, I find out by way of another conversation that he has moved there.

The way I find out that he’s in San Diego? He calls this past weekend and says he’s driven up to LA for the weekend, and is going out to eat and drink with Sally, and where is a good place to eat in LA.

I’m sorry?

Why are you in LA? And why are you seeing Sally, an ex-girlfriend? When you told me years ago that you hated Sally, and that you only see her for one thing, and one thing only? And don’t you have a committed relationship with your girlfriend?

What?!

It makes me very sad that this is what’s happening. Less than 1 year ago, we would know each other’s whereabouts like the backs of our hands. Less than 1 year ago, I would be the one arranging his “Welcome back to California!” party.

Plus his whole “I’m dating Linda seriously, but on the other hand, Sally and I are going to be ‘hanging out'” thing just bothers the feck out of me. We are 29 year old, grown-ass adults…is it really the time to be practicing that brand of bullsh!t? Either break up with Linda, or stop seeing your “convenience” friends like Sally.

I don’t know. I try not to judge, but this is my BFF, here. I have always prided him on being a total gentleman, but I guess this is just disappointing me.

Tonight, he’s in downtown LA, at one of my favorite bars, but he’s with his other good friends, his sister, and Linda. I don’t want to cause a scene. I told him I’m sitting this one out. I told him I’m too pissed off, and I may start a fight if I went down there. I know my limitations, but even those are volatile and I may be prone to erupting into LoveMeHulk mode. We agreed that was smart. He said he needed to address me separately. He said we need to spend some time together, just the two of us, to talk this one out.

Do you understand the gravity of the situation? My BEST friend, whom I haven’t seen since January is in town, a mere 20 miles from me–probably only about 15 minutes on the road–and I am avoiding him. Does that make any sense?!

Tell me…am I just taking it too far? Am I being upset over nothing? I don’t know, I’m too entrenched in my own emotions, I can’t be a fair judge of them.

But I’ll say this. If I know that he is in town one more subsequent weekend, and he’s hanging out with his pseudogirlfriend or some other girl instead of taking the time to address this problem we have, I’m going to have to close this chapter of him in my life.

I just can’t handle any more neglect from someone who is supposed to be a best friend.

A True Feat of Douchery

27 Mar

Most Los Angeles men have an understanding.

It’s very simple: if they are douchey, we LA women will not put up with it, at all. We’re a pretty tough crowd, you know. Years of being stuck in ridiculously long commutes getting robbed of personal time as well as jostling for competition amongst the most rich, famous and beautiful have molded us into a highly evolved creature. A creature who has little time for bullshit, with most of us sporting the mantra of “Be nice, or be gone.”

I needed to share these next items via blog because I truly didn’t think men like this existed anymore in Los Angeles. I guess I was wrong. But before we go to the transcript, I will cover a few items to provide the most accurate reading experience to you.

Prefacing Facts:

  • I have met this person a total of one (1) time in person.
  • He is a total stranger who seemed like a nice person, or so I thought, by the fact that he met me halfway across the city to return my lost driver’s license to me after he had picked it up by chance from the floor of the Troubadour, when I had accidentally dropped it whilst seeing Dent May in February. (He found me on Facebook the morning after the concert and messaged me.)
  • I was so grateful when he found my driver’s license that when he asked to keep in touch on IM, I didn’t give it a second thought. Why not? We parted ways, and I smiled to myself as I thought, “Now there is a stranger who just imparted upon me a random act of kindness.” Of course I would want to keep in touch with such a nice person!
  • To further clarify, I have never touched him, kissed him, led him on, called him by a pet name, flirted with him, or otherwise shown him that I was interested in dating him.

Now that the stage is set, observe, if you will, a true feat of douchery.

Brad*: was up baby? how you
LoveMeDeux: Hi
Brad: baby, i miss you
LoveMeDeux: How are you? How’s life?
Brad: when you wana see me? i need some kisses

I have never, ever told him I wanted to see him.I’m lost. I never asked about it in my life. Wow. Also, why would he “miss” me?

LoveMeDeux: I will be out and about tomorrow
Brad:  but hun, you know i’m attracted to you. i just wana be honest w you
Brad:  i wana get to know you, i just wana be as up front with you as poss
LoveMeDeux: But…..Brad. Didn’t you tell me.. You’re seeing someone. I thought we were just friends.
Brad: are you looking for something serious? i would love to date you and get to know you.
Brad: but yea, i think your super cutie and smart
LoveMeDeux: so you’re *not* seeing anyone? You set the tone with that remark
Brad: i’m not “sleeping” with anyone
LoveMeDeux: What does that mean?
Brad: i’m just saying i would like to be with you. i’m open and chill

At this juncture, I am ready to delete him from my Blackberry foreverrrrr. But I was very curious to see the douchey extent to which he’d go. I decided to grill him like I didn’t give a shiz. Because I suddenly didn’t.

LoveMeDeux: Ok let me ask you. Are you seeing anyone else?
Brad: not like how i wana see you, so no
LoveMeDeux: That is not a straight answer.
Brad: just have been busy. i’m talking with 2 girls, nothing serious
LoveMeDeux: Ok. And how far does that go to
Brad: have not even kissed them. are you looking for something serious?
LoveMeDeux: I only date people who only date one person at a time.
Brad: i know, which i respect
LoveMeDeux: You are seeing other people, whether it be casual or not. To me that qualifies as your dance card being full.
Brad: baby, i just told you, i’m not sleeping with anyone
LoveMeDeux: Yes I know that, but having sex is not the indicator of a relationship. It’s more than just sex that’s important to me. When I am with a man, I expect him to see 1 person and 1 person only.
LoveMeDeux: Me. And vice versa. I am a loyal person.
Brad: not just that hun, hard to explain over IM
LoveMeDeux: Hah. No I get it! Worry not.
Brad: no, you don’t. like i said, it’s hard to explain over IM.

This guy is trying like crazy to figure out a way to salvage this situation and get me to see him. Why can’t he just come right out and say he just wants to sleep with me–and let me get on with the “No, thank you. Never.”

LoveMeDeux: Ok, Tell me. I’m listening
Brad: i would love to be intimate with you, of course, but also see movie, dinner. all that. and be respectful of you

How is trying to date me–plus two other women at the same time–being respectful of me? Did I not get a memo? What?

Brad: but i dont want something 100% commited. ya know – like if i’m sleeping with you, i’m with you. but i work a lot. just being honest, as i know you are too
Brad: if you would like to try something new with me, i would love it.
LoveMeDeux: Yeah…sorry…When I’m looking, I’m looking for a real relationship. A 100% commitment from both sides
Brad: true. i know. can you try a hybrid relationship?
LoveMeDeux: No, sorry. you’re very charming.

He was, until this bullshit.

Brad: 😉  so are you.
LoveMeDeux: But no. Absolutely not.
Brad: you funny. yea, it sucks i cannot see you the way i want to,

“I want to” being the key words. It’s all about what suits your needs, right? What he meant was, “It sucks that you can’t see this the way I see it so we can have a meaningless sexual relationship.” You want to have sex with me, but you don’t want to respect me and really date me like I deserve it.

LoveMeDeux: Sorry. But I can’t get into a relationship with someone whose mindset isn’t into real committed relationship as the eventuality
 Brad: well, okay, don’t you get lonely, and need some cuddle time. call me. not even sex, but like kissing, massages. i wana share those cool times with you.
LoveMeDeux: sorry. I can’t be with someone who is already talking to two women
Brad: if i stopped?
LoveMeDeux: I don’t have time fcuk around.
Brad: baby, not having sex and fucking around. just being there for you
LoveMeDeux: No. Sorry.
Brad: in a chilll way
LoveMeDeux: Yes…I get what you’re saying. But in my book, there is no “chill way”
Brad: ok, well. good to know
LoveMeDeux: You’re either in or you’re out. I’m hardwired like that.
Brad: true. cool
LoveMeDeux: Sorry. bye.
Brad: keep in touch.

Yeah, right. Let me get right on that. I totally want to keep in touch with you, sure.

(*As usual, names are changed to protect my sources. Even if this one was douchey. Special thanks to KT & PK for their help in picking this one out.)

Deplorable @ WalMart

25 Mar

One of the most heinous things I have seen at WalMart in a long time. It’s supposed to be a beach cover-up. But why…?!!