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I Have A New Hero, And His Name Is Ari Gold.

15 Apr

How did I manage to miss this show, Entourage? I had always heard amazing things about the show, but now I have a whole new obsession that is making my Netflix Queue look like this: 

(The beauty of being late in the game means I can watch it all consecutively in a marathon instead of having to wait for each hiatus to be over in between.)

Not only is the show sharp, caustic, witty and oh-so-Los-Angeles, but there is that one added bonus that stood out to me…

I had a emotionally draining day today, and when I managed to pop in the first episode of the first season of Entourage, I got a treat.

I met a man who gets to scream out nasty things like I wanted screamed out today, for example, when Starbucks fecked up a simple order of a Grande coffee with one add shot of espresso, made me wait for 10 minutes to get a new one, delaying me from an appointment, and, to add insult to injury, issued no apology. I tweeted it out, but it’s an altogether different thing when you are able to scream it out like he can. And he’s allowed to scream and be nasty, because he’s got the clout from being unbelievably good at what he does backing him up. He’s golden, no pun intended.

In short, I have a new hero, and his name is Ari Gold.

Observe: [by the way, my favorite Ari moment thus far is at 3 min 8 seconds].

Okay, all right, so even if I were Ari Gold, I still wouldn’t have gone ballistic on the Starbucks staff this afternoon. But it’s fun to imagine it.

And part of the reason why I want to better myself with an MBA is because I feel like if I had that intelligence as ammunition to back me up and give me similar clout, I could win like Ari, himself “just a lowly Harvard grad with a J.D./M.B.A. from Michigan“, not only because he knows better, but because he really is better.

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Put Your Lovin’ Hand Out Baby.

9 Apr

Due to the fact that I’m a Revision3 fangirl, tuning in multiple times a week to catch Scam School, DiggNation & The Digg Reel, and, it turns out, just about anything that @bigepaz has a hand in producing, I have had to watch this commercial about 5 times per week, as Adidas is a Revision3 sponsor. It is attached to every show that is mentioned above.

I’m not complaining.

Quite the opposite, in fact.

I actually love this commercial. [Call me brainwashed, and a “sell out to the brand”, but seriously, one of my favorite articles of clothing is my old Adidas zip-up track jacket that I bought years ago. If you know me, you’ve seen me in it.]

Truly, these marketing people know what they’re doing. It’s simple, really. Get a house, fill it with people, some even famous, and party down in a “chic in the hills”, college frat style.

But I’ll argue that the ingenuity comes not only in the slow-mo, so that we can enjoy every sumptuous graphic presented to us, but in the choice of “Beggin‘”, by none other than Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons. It’s part throwback to a classier era of partying, or so we’d like to think, and part reference to Jersey Boys, which, if you’re an “in-the-know” kind of consumer, you’ll have already seen two Tony seasons ago.

Absolutely brilliant. I want an MBA so I can better contend with the brains behind this kind of beautiful, organized madness.

Full version of this commercial is available here.

I Want To Be Stuck In An Elevator With…

3 Apr

Stephen Colbert
Not only is he naturally hilarious, he’s ubersmart, rather handsome, and I get the sense that Stephen Colbert is a geek, deep down inside. I would quiz him on how he had the sheer nerve to stand up to Mr. Bush at the infamous White House Correspondent’s Dinner, tongue firmly in cheek, as well as how he keeps all the material he has to write and produce every night so fresh.

Ultimately, I would shake his hand, letting him know that I am yet another one of the iGeneration masses who use himself and Jon Stewart to gather news in a hilarious, but relevant, way.

 

Michel Gondry
“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”. “The Science of Sleep”. And countless influential commercials, short films, projects and collaborative efforts. How can you not love Michel Gondry?

Really, I don’t know where I’d start. How did you envision filming that one scene in “Eternal Sunshine” where Jim Carrey keeps walking back and forth on a darkened street, and Kate Winslet gets “erased”? What does it really mean at the end of “The Science of Sleep” when Gael García Bernal falls asleep in Charlotte Gainsbourg’s bed?

 

Coco Chanel
She was not just a fashion designer.

She was an arbiter of class. She died single, childless and ludicrously rich in the Ritz Hotel en Paris, and the world mourned her. I’m certain it’s because we all thought that fashion would go to the dogs after this.

Where would I begin? How did you know that the combination of cream and black tweed would look so sharp? Why choose a camellia to be your signature symbol, as opposed to a more obvious rose? How come your enamel jewelry looks so damned amazing, when everyone else’s looks shoddy and thrown together?

 

Bill Murray
The man needs no introduction. There are too many films, shows, appearances to tell him that I loved him in. There are also too many things he says that can put me in stitches. But truly, if I had but one single moment with Bill Murray, though he may never tell me, but I would ask nonetheless:

What did you say to Scarlett Johansson at the very end of “Lost In Translation”, when you leaned into her, whispered it so intimately, leading her to cry?

I must know!

 

A Real, Live Geisha
In the 1920s, there were approximately 80,000 geisha in Japan. Now, in the modern age, these numbers have fallen to somewhere between 1,000 to 2,000.

I want to know everything about their lives, as if I was trying to become a human recording of their amazing existence, before the “flower and willow world” they live in withers away in the face of the reality that maintaining geisha lifestyle, training and culture are seriously expensive.

Tell me everything! Demeanor, kimono, makeup, hair, dance, song, accoutrements, and even how they manage to keep balanced and strutting along smoothly on those geta sandals. I feel as if they are celebrities, keeping a tradition alive in a small, sheltered pocket, as the rest of the world encroaches upon them, slowly and surely.

 

Vampire Weekend
Seriously? I’m saying realtime jam session within the confines of the elevator with the “whitest band”, as StuffWhitePeopleLike.com’s Christian Lander declared them in a Salon.com interview. Ha!

Let me drum my fingers on the elevator banister as Ezra Koenig belts out the lyrics to “The Kids Don’t Stand A Chance”, or “Oxford Comma”, and I would fangirl out like crazy.

 

Graham Norton
He may just well be the funniest British man, ever. Truly.

Watching his show “So Graham Norton” on the BBC has left me in stitches. His inappropriate remarks delivered with a side of “devil may care” attitude, as well as the funny games he thinks up to involve his audiences, such as “Bring The Ugliest Gift You Have Ever Gotten To The Show”, and giving them prizes accordingly, leads me to believe that the man would be immensely entertaining whilst stuck inside a elevator.

 

Ewan MacGregor
I have given you very good reasons for the past 7 men and women that I would like to meet. Now let me give you a very blatantly carnal reason for this next one.

Gah.

Ewan MacGregor. Yumm…

“Moulin Rouge”, “Trainspotting”, “Emma”, “Down With Love”…I don’t even need to get into his role as young Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Just, yumm….

 

Monday Nights Are Ideal For Face-Melting Fun.

25 Mar

Ah, I went to the best show ever at The Troubadour, again…!

I love these PoorPeople-friendly, $12 School Night shows at the Troubadour that start late as hell, 10pm+. They’re made for me, the unemployed, laid-off girl who, if she were employed, would absolutely never be able to make these shows, what with my morning commute starting at 4:45am.

Bishop Allen were amazing…they sounded ridiculously face-melting and I re-lost my voice (after just barely nursing it to health, quashing the DeathCough from Hell) for screaming and singing so loud that night. The crowd was wild, and we all had a great time lingering around having drinks with bandmates and meeting nice folks. @BoxSpring facilitated the whole event and @scbound and I had a great time catching up with him IRL, as well as his friend George. Hanging out in the front bar, we also happened to meet Phantom Planet guitarist, Darren Robinson, who is on tour with Miniature Tigers. I confess! I did not even know who he was. He was funny, he tried to steal a water I bought my brother, and so I randomly started chatting with him like he was any other interesting person in the bar. I can never turn down a convo with someone who catches my attention like that.

Oops. Anyway, he was too gracious–after playing a set and driving nonstop to get to Los Angeles, only to pack up to get to San Francisco that night, I would go insane, not chat nicely with people in the bar. He gave me a Phantom Planet guitar pick he had on him. Sweet. When we all left the bar, the artists all went outside, piled their instruments and all their et cetera in huge vans with U-Hauls attached to them, and went off into the night to play a gig in San Francisco. Somehow, that realism is still not enough to wash away the giddiness that comes with a great night of music.

I still can’t believe it was on a Monday night. Sometimes, very rarely, it is a good thing, being unemployed.

More photos of our night here, including pictures taken with Bishop Allen themselves.: Bishop Allen at the Troubadour – 23 Mar 2009

The Whitest Asian Girl You Know.

18 Mar

[Note: Elliott is “white”, whatever that means in today’s context. :-D]

LoveMeDeux: YES! “Mad Men” has been announced as No.123 on StuffWhitePeopleLike.com! I am so white for an Asian girl! W00t! http://tinyurl.com/bsxfaz
Elliott: i’m confused
LoveMeDeux: what? why?
Elliott: u really love this site dont you? and you’re not even white.
LoveMeDeux: yeah. i’m white in spirit.
LoveMeDeux: it’s so funny, it’s like a confirmation
Elliott: lol. i like the approach of asian girls
Elliott: “i get to capture the exotic image of being asian, but then act like the white girl men know and love”
LoveMeDeux: YES, that’s us, baby.
Elliott: lol
LoveMeDeux: and now, i’m letting you know, this exchange is going on my blog because it’s too funny!
Elliott: from where to where?
LoveMeDeux: oh just the part about the StuffWhitePeopleLike.com website.
Elliott: lol
LoveMeDeux: and you know i disguise you as Elliott.
Elliott: link me when its up 🙂
LoveMeDeux: will do.

An Evil Plot To Destroy The World.

4 Feb

This commercial is frighteningly self aware. And I watch this and know that it is true, what he says…but I can’t help myself.

Because I am in love with Hulu.

Hulu is my boyfriend, actually, I’m not sure you knew that. I was in love with Hulu a long time before this commercial, when my Plurk friend Teslanaut introduced me to it, but this commercial pretty much sums up the evil that exists inside Hulu. This is my one stop shop for catching up with the few primetime shows I follow: The Office, 30 Rock, The Simpsons & Family Guy. Add to that the fake news essentials of The Colberrrr Reporrrr, and The Daily Show, and my brain is effectively that “cottage cheese-like mush” that Alec is talking about.

Enjoy.

Ode To Those Polish Abs…

12 Dec

Anyone who has seen an episode of Dancing With The Stars will agree that  it is fascinating to watch both the amazing bodies on the professional dancers, as well as the incredible transformation that the stars’ bodies undergo during the season due to some brutally long hours in practice on the dance floor.

But seriously, Eileen and I have agreed, this woman has the best.

Edyta Śliwińska, hotter than a pepper sprout, and of Polish origin. Pictured here with Jason Taylor, with whom she won second place in Season 6.

Where, oh where can I get those abs.

After the 150 sit-ups I did in addition to the 45 Capt’s Chair knee raises, I’m probably going to have issues trying to get out of bed tomorrow morning. I can already see definition, but somehow, I know I’m still a lonnng way away from Edyta Abs. 😦