Archive | March, 2009

Poor, Poor MiseryBear.

31 Mar

MiseryBear is miserable.

But it’s truly, oh so funny, à la Happy Tree Friends. Here’s a stellar example about what can transpire when you add an inanimate object to the common workplace, some quick camera movements, and a general sensibility for humor. Can’t you just feel the dry Brit humor in it?

I laughed out loud when he bashes his head on the monitor. And when he gets pissed off at the envelope. I think I’ve seen it 5 times now.

You can follow MiseryBear at twitter.com/MiseryBear, and he has an extended cut here.

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Biting The Bullet of Academia.

30 Mar

I have decided that it’s high time for me to bite the bullet and do an MBA, and to go for it right now. Forget the higher than 10% unemployment rate–I need to ignore that ugly two digit number and make a break for higher education in hopes that it will a) help me make connections to become gainfully employed again, and b) this time in something that I want to do, in the meanwhile c) giving me an academic purpose in life.

And what’s the first step in doing an MBA? Forms. Forms and admissions and standardized tests that end up scoring you only 60% as smart as you really are. And it’s all proving to be irritating, yecch. But as my friend Elliot says,

“The toughest part of an MBA is getting in.”

God help me, Elliot. I hope so. But then again, I say it’s easy for Elliot to say–he’s an MBA candidate at a Top 20 school.

So. MBA Gripe No1: I am filling out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid and I am haaating it! How did we do this when we were in undergrad, when we were even more prone to just tossing aside boring things like this in exchange for a beer?!

Do you have any felonies on your record?
What is your mom’s middle initial?
Do you own a farm?

Come onnnnis this completely necessary for you guys to give me teh monehs for school?

Ok, so maybe it is. And the answers are:

No, unless you count that one time I accidentally stole toothpaste from Target.
“E”.
No, I wish. I would go horseback-riding all day and hope that a spider named Charlotte
decides to inhabit my barn.

Rivetting stuff, no? I hope that the Quantitative Analysis courseload is more thrilling than this, else I may be tempted to sleep through my entire MBA. Wake me when it’s time to collect my diploma.

The Week of the IRL

29 Mar

in – [in]
re⋅al – [ree-uhl, reel]
life – [lahyf]

What a week it has been. First I met Bishop Allen on Monday night, next all the online Social Media people that matter, on Friday night.

@RogueTess, @LoveMeDeux & @phatemokid

Finally, I meet RogueTess IRL! phatemokid was sporting his new ‘do.

I am not one for promoting liquor on this blog, but come on! This is a very special photo. Thank you to darthweef for letting me steal this photo. The rest of his photos are here.

On a perfect, warm Los Angeles night.

To say we had a great time is an understatement. How cute is bigepaz in her signature pose! The rest of my photos are here.

Where Tech Meets–Sheep?

28 Mar

Actually, totally jaw dropping.

A True Feat of Douchery

27 Mar

Most Los Angeles men have an understanding.

It’s very simple: if they are douchey, we LA women will not put up with it, at all. We’re a pretty tough crowd, you know. Years of being stuck in ridiculously long commutes getting robbed of personal time as well as jostling for competition amongst the most rich, famous and beautiful have molded us into a highly evolved creature. A creature who has little time for bullshit, with most of us sporting the mantra of “Be nice, or be gone.”

I needed to share these next items via blog because I truly didn’t think men like this existed anymore in Los Angeles. I guess I was wrong. But before we go to the transcript, I will cover a few items to provide the most accurate reading experience to you.

Prefacing Facts:

  • I have met this person a total of one (1) time in person.
  • He is a total stranger who seemed like a nice person, or so I thought, by the fact that he met me halfway across the city to return my lost driver’s license to me after he had picked it up by chance from the floor of the Troubadour, when I had accidentally dropped it whilst seeing Dent May in February. (He found me on Facebook the morning after the concert and messaged me.)
  • I was so grateful when he found my driver’s license that when he asked to keep in touch on IM, I didn’t give it a second thought. Why not? We parted ways, and I smiled to myself as I thought, “Now there is a stranger who just imparted upon me a random act of kindness.” Of course I would want to keep in touch with such a nice person!
  • To further clarify, I have never touched him, kissed him, led him on, called him by a pet name, flirted with him, or otherwise shown him that I was interested in dating him.

Now that the stage is set, observe, if you will, a true feat of douchery.

Brad*: was up baby? how you
LoveMeDeux: Hi
Brad: baby, i miss you
LoveMeDeux: How are you? How’s life?
Brad: when you wana see me? i need some kisses

I have never, ever told him I wanted to see him.I’m lost. I never asked about it in my life. Wow. Also, why would he “miss” me?

LoveMeDeux: I will be out and about tomorrow
Brad:  but hun, you know i’m attracted to you. i just wana be honest w you
Brad:  i wana get to know you, i just wana be as up front with you as poss
LoveMeDeux: But…..Brad. Didn’t you tell me.. You’re seeing someone. I thought we were just friends.
Brad: are you looking for something serious? i would love to date you and get to know you.
Brad: but yea, i think your super cutie and smart
LoveMeDeux: so you’re *not* seeing anyone? You set the tone with that remark
Brad: i’m not “sleeping” with anyone
LoveMeDeux: What does that mean?
Brad: i’m just saying i would like to be with you. i’m open and chill

At this juncture, I am ready to delete him from my Blackberry foreverrrrr. But I was very curious to see the douchey extent to which he’d go. I decided to grill him like I didn’t give a shiz. Because I suddenly didn’t.

LoveMeDeux: Ok let me ask you. Are you seeing anyone else?
Brad: not like how i wana see you, so no
LoveMeDeux: That is not a straight answer.
Brad: just have been busy. i’m talking with 2 girls, nothing serious
LoveMeDeux: Ok. And how far does that go to
Brad: have not even kissed them. are you looking for something serious?
LoveMeDeux: I only date people who only date one person at a time.
Brad: i know, which i respect
LoveMeDeux: You are seeing other people, whether it be casual or not. To me that qualifies as your dance card being full.
Brad: baby, i just told you, i’m not sleeping with anyone
LoveMeDeux: Yes I know that, but having sex is not the indicator of a relationship. It’s more than just sex that’s important to me. When I am with a man, I expect him to see 1 person and 1 person only.
LoveMeDeux: Me. And vice versa. I am a loyal person.
Brad: not just that hun, hard to explain over IM
LoveMeDeux: Hah. No I get it! Worry not.
Brad: no, you don’t. like i said, it’s hard to explain over IM.

This guy is trying like crazy to figure out a way to salvage this situation and get me to see him. Why can’t he just come right out and say he just wants to sleep with me–and let me get on with the “No, thank you. Never.”

LoveMeDeux: Ok, Tell me. I’m listening
Brad: i would love to be intimate with you, of course, but also see movie, dinner. all that. and be respectful of you

How is trying to date me–plus two other women at the same time–being respectful of me? Did I not get a memo? What?

Brad: but i dont want something 100% commited. ya know – like if i’m sleeping with you, i’m with you. but i work a lot. just being honest, as i know you are too
Brad: if you would like to try something new with me, i would love it.
LoveMeDeux: Yeah…sorry…When I’m looking, I’m looking for a real relationship. A 100% commitment from both sides
Brad: true. i know. can you try a hybrid relationship?
LoveMeDeux: No, sorry. you’re very charming.

He was, until this bullshit.

Brad: 😉  so are you.
LoveMeDeux: But no. Absolutely not.
Brad: you funny. yea, it sucks i cannot see you the way i want to,

“I want to” being the key words. It’s all about what suits your needs, right? What he meant was, “It sucks that you can’t see this the way I see it so we can have a meaningless sexual relationship.” You want to have sex with me, but you don’t want to respect me and really date me like I deserve it.

LoveMeDeux: Sorry. But I can’t get into a relationship with someone whose mindset isn’t into real committed relationship as the eventuality
 Brad: well, okay, don’t you get lonely, and need some cuddle time. call me. not even sex, but like kissing, massages. i wana share those cool times with you.
LoveMeDeux: sorry. I can’t be with someone who is already talking to two women
Brad: if i stopped?
LoveMeDeux: I don’t have time fcuk around.
Brad: baby, not having sex and fucking around. just being there for you
LoveMeDeux: No. Sorry.
Brad: in a chilll way
LoveMeDeux: Yes…I get what you’re saying. But in my book, there is no “chill way”
Brad: ok, well. good to know
LoveMeDeux: You’re either in or you’re out. I’m hardwired like that.
Brad: true. cool
LoveMeDeux: Sorry. bye.
Brad: keep in touch.

Yeah, right. Let me get right on that. I totally want to keep in touch with you, sure.

(*As usual, names are changed to protect my sources. Even if this one was douchey. Special thanks to KT & PK for their help in picking this one out.)

I’m In A Star Wars State of Mind

26 Mar

Yes, I am a Star Wars geek. My favorite tee has a Millenium Falcon on it.

But occasionally, I will get into a Star Wars state of mind, and I must get a little bit of a Star Wars fix to alleviate it.

Today was one such day, and I just searched YouTube based on the words “lightsaber duel”. Most of the fan videos out there are cobbled together with poor fight choreography and mediocre Adobe AfterEffects add-ons, but this one is special!

The camera angles, the duel choreography, the appearance of “pressure” when the lightsabers touch, everything. Perfect.

Adorable @ WalMart

25 Mar

One of the cutest things I have seen at WalMart in a long time. Pair it with a pair of white skinny jeans, serve with a mojito for a dose of summer cool.