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Good Jury Duty Book? "Spreadsheet Modeling & Decision Analysis, 5e" by Cliff Ragsdale

12 Jun

It is one of the most boring books that I have ever, ever read in my life, and furthermore, since I haven’t touched real math since senior year of high school, it is quite challenging, and regularly hurts my liberal arts feelings.

However, I need to take this book with me because I will be forced to read it, locked down in the courtroom with no other alternatives. I’ve only done a third of the assigned reading.

God, graduate-level math really sucks.

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Dream Car: A 1957 Chevy Bel Air Convertible

24 Apr

It’s built like a tank. It’s beautiful. It’s red. The chrome is amazing. And I want the red and white leather–with the piping.

It’s such an amazing, sexy car–and a total classic. How could you not want one? I’m not a bigtime car aficionado, but this is truly a dream car. I would play only Johnny Mathis or The Chordettes as I drive it around sunny So Cal…

Top Four Reasons Why I Would Leave A Party–And Tout De Suite!

19 Apr

Los Angeles is a mecca for party-goers. There’s always something happening in this crazy town, from the Hollywood Hills to the coastline. However, increasingly, I’ve noticed that parties that I’ve been to have been good only half the time. Unfortunately, 50% of the time, I’m walking to my car thinking, “Why the feck did I pull out my best sequin dress for this bullshiz?”

So from a veteran partygoer to you, here are surefire cues that signal the end of a party. I would leave:

 

If People Only Want To Talk Money.
Money. Who wants to talk about it? You either have it, or you don’t. I don’t have stunningly large amounts of it. But people talking shop about investments when everyone else is bored out of their mind listening is a surefire reason to get out. No one wants to hear about how much of a return you made last quarter. Really. No one wants to hear about that. No seriously, guys, talking about money is really not the way to get laid. Unless you want to attract the wrong kind of girl, in which case, have fun with her and try to make sure she doesn’t only want you for the leather lining in your BMW.

 

If People Are Staring At Their Mobiles A Bit Too Much.
I will admit that I am the first one to check my Blackberry, and recently I was at a party where we were all going mobile-heavy, but had a great time nonetheless, with no one leaving before 1am. Seriously, though, I’ll be the first to head towards Twitter, Plurk, Facebook and e-mail when a party is dead. If I see other people relying on their mobiles a bit too much, then I’ll wrap up convos, and say goodbyes. Taking photos of your fellow revellers with your phones or exchanging numbers is understandable party phone usage, but anything else is an indicator not to hang out waiting for the party to end.

 

If The Drunk Girl Makes A Break For The Bathroom.
There’s always one person, usually a girl, who can’t hold her liquor. And though she may have just been fawning over a fellow partygoer, or dancing on the grand piano, there always comes a point where she can, in a split second, blurt out: “‘Scuse me!” and make a break for the bathroom. There’s nothing quite like that to serve as a mood killer.

 

If You’re Just Plain Fecking Bored And Done.
I have been at the most hoity toitiest of parties that were ultimately boring, with hosts that do nothing to make everyone welcome. Time was that I would wait around in the hopes that things improve, but experience dictates that things never improve. A few weeks ago, while at a more VIP party at one of this cities’ otherwise greatest bars, I did not even last for two hours. I gave out some of my cards, shook enough hands, but eventually, at only just about midnight, I told my two friends that I was there with that I was done. It wasn’t the people, necessarily, and the drinks are always great, it was just…boring.

“Write A Haiku About The Last Film You Saw.” Really, Plinky? Really?!

17 Apr

Seamed stockings and lace

She left it all anyway

Still, she’s pin-up queen.

    Gretchen Mol dispatched this film expertly, and though it wasn’t the biopic of the century, it was nice to be able to “see” Bettie Page‘s life onscreen, with a well-rounded cast of supporters, to include David Straithairn and Lili Taylor. Special features include footage of the real Bettie Page getting naked and doing what she did best.

    Still the most popular pinup to this day, and apparently more popular than blondes Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield combined, this brunette has a quality about her where, as one of her photographers Bunny Yeager says, “she doesn’t seem naked when she’s naked”, I guess that fresh-faced “girl next door” look compensated. Whatever it was, she was a legend in her own right, and this film just confirmed for me what we already know–Bettie was the kind of girl you wish you could have gone with for girls night out!

    How I Will Cope With the Death Of Print Media.

    8 Apr

    It’s very simple.

    Real News: NPR & Twitter.

    Fake News: The Colbert Report & The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

    As a print journalism major, it is sad to see so many newspapers fold. I look to my former professors at the LA Times, and wonder how many of them will go? We heard in March of this year that the Seattle Post-Intelligencer has gone 100% online, and with it, many jobs.

    But it’s no wonder–the journalism market is seriously saturated, and with the younger generation, myself included, turning to outlets like The Colbert Report and The Daily Show for the fake take on real news, it is highly likely that news stories will get shorter and shorter, and served up increasingly in byte-sized bits.

    The commuter lifestyle that life in big cities forces one into has also contributed to getting much news on the go. In reality, NPR News is my No. 1 outlet for news gathering.

    Another surprising news source for me has been following @NPRPolitics, @NPRNews, @DiggNews, @NYTimes and other such news organizations on Twitter. They give the snippet up front, then if necessary, I will click on it to get the expanded story. If print organizations do not get on the Social Media bandwagon like so, they will be extinct sooner rather than later.

    I Want To Be Stuck In An Elevator With…

    3 Apr

    Stephen Colbert
    Not only is he naturally hilarious, he’s ubersmart, rather handsome, and I get the sense that Stephen Colbert is a geek, deep down inside. I would quiz him on how he had the sheer nerve to stand up to Mr. Bush at the infamous White House Correspondent’s Dinner, tongue firmly in cheek, as well as how he keeps all the material he has to write and produce every night so fresh.

    Ultimately, I would shake his hand, letting him know that I am yet another one of the iGeneration masses who use himself and Jon Stewart to gather news in a hilarious, but relevant, way.

     

    Michel Gondry
    “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”. “The Science of Sleep”. And countless influential commercials, short films, projects and collaborative efforts. How can you not love Michel Gondry?

    Really, I don’t know where I’d start. How did you envision filming that one scene in “Eternal Sunshine” where Jim Carrey keeps walking back and forth on a darkened street, and Kate Winslet gets “erased”? What does it really mean at the end of “The Science of Sleep” when Gael García Bernal falls asleep in Charlotte Gainsbourg’s bed?

     

    Coco Chanel
    She was not just a fashion designer.

    She was an arbiter of class. She died single, childless and ludicrously rich in the Ritz Hotel en Paris, and the world mourned her. I’m certain it’s because we all thought that fashion would go to the dogs after this.

    Where would I begin? How did you know that the combination of cream and black tweed would look so sharp? Why choose a camellia to be your signature symbol, as opposed to a more obvious rose? How come your enamel jewelry looks so damned amazing, when everyone else’s looks shoddy and thrown together?

     

    Bill Murray
    The man needs no introduction. There are too many films, shows, appearances to tell him that I loved him in. There are also too many things he says that can put me in stitches. But truly, if I had but one single moment with Bill Murray, though he may never tell me, but I would ask nonetheless:

    What did you say to Scarlett Johansson at the very end of “Lost In Translation”, when you leaned into her, whispered it so intimately, leading her to cry?

    I must know!

     

    A Real, Live Geisha
    In the 1920s, there were approximately 80,000 geisha in Japan. Now, in the modern age, these numbers have fallen to somewhere between 1,000 to 2,000.

    I want to know everything about their lives, as if I was trying to become a human recording of their amazing existence, before the “flower and willow world” they live in withers away in the face of the reality that maintaining geisha lifestyle, training and culture are seriously expensive.

    Tell me everything! Demeanor, kimono, makeup, hair, dance, song, accoutrements, and even how they manage to keep balanced and strutting along smoothly on those geta sandals. I feel as if they are celebrities, keeping a tradition alive in a small, sheltered pocket, as the rest of the world encroaches upon them, slowly and surely.

     

    Vampire Weekend
    Seriously? I’m saying realtime jam session within the confines of the elevator with the “whitest band”, as StuffWhitePeopleLike.com’s Christian Lander declared them in a Salon.com interview. Ha!

    Let me drum my fingers on the elevator banister as Ezra Koenig belts out the lyrics to “The Kids Don’t Stand A Chance”, or “Oxford Comma”, and I would fangirl out like crazy.

     

    Graham Norton
    He may just well be the funniest British man, ever. Truly.

    Watching his show “So Graham Norton” on the BBC has left me in stitches. His inappropriate remarks delivered with a side of “devil may care” attitude, as well as the funny games he thinks up to involve his audiences, such as “Bring The Ugliest Gift You Have Ever Gotten To The Show”, and giving them prizes accordingly, leads me to believe that the man would be immensely entertaining whilst stuck inside a elevator.

     

    Ewan MacGregor
    I have given you very good reasons for the past 7 men and women that I would like to meet. Now let me give you a very blatantly carnal reason for this next one.

    Gah.

    Ewan MacGregor. Yumm…

    “Moulin Rouge”, “Trainspotting”, “Emma”, “Down With Love”…I don’t even need to get into his role as young Obi-Wan Kenobi.

    Just, yumm….

     

    My No.1 Most Coveted Gadget: iPhone, Please.

    23 Mar

    Need I say more?

    iPhone by William Hook

    I’m already a multitasking monster with my Blackberry Curve, I’m sure I’d be positively dangerous with the iPhone.

    Any day you can catch me on my Curve chatting on GoogleTalk, Yahoo Messenger or Blackberry Messenger. Or I’m taking video or photos and uploading them to Twitter and Plurk, checking and updating Twitter and Plurk, and updating my status on Facebook. Not to mention maintaining my life in Calendar, Tasks and Notes.

    The one downside, of course, is figuring out how to transfer 3 years worth of Blackberry contacts into the iPhone? Anyone? Anyone?