Tag Archives: Boys

That Gossip Mill, The MBA.

3 May

Tomorrow I go back to school for the first time in 7 years. Tonight I spoke with a friend who is finishing his MBA this month about going back to school, and all the wonderful things that go along with it.

So naturally, the subject turns to sex and all the gossip surrounding that environment.

Cornelius: So what plans are afoot for this week?
LoveMeDeux: Well. Tomorrow I have to go to school to register for parking and talk to the counselor.
Cornelius: 🙂 Should prove fun.
LoveMeDeux: Yes and meet some students, I guess…this is insane–
Cornelius: What is?
LoveMeDeux: But i’m like, “What if the other kids don’t like me?” LMAO!!!
Cornelius: …. Wear the suit.

For some reason, Cornelius thinks this one suit I wear, a totally conservative business suit, makes me look hot. Whatever. It’s like Pollyanna in the business world, which means, it’s a white button-down cuffed shirt, and a black suit. Boring.

LoveMeDeux: LOL! I’m not looking to get laid. I’m looking to make friends
Cornelius: LOL! Do both!
LoveMeDeux: DUDE!
Cornelius: Dude!
LoveMeDeux: Was it not you who told me to never fcuk one of my fellow classmates?!
Cornelius: Yeah, but it’s a part time program. So it’s ok.
LoveMeDeux: OMG, no it’s so not ok!
Cornelius: And why is that?
LoveMeDeux: I don’t want to be that girl. Btw haha! I’m supposed to be cloistered with all my classmates next weekend.
Cornelius: LOL – You mean the “rite of passage” for a Pepperdine MBA?
LoveMeDeux: It’s an organizational behavior class, all weekend from Friday morning to Sunday afternoon
Cornelius: Oh baby!
LoveMeDeux: LMAO! I am so positive that someone gets laid on this weekend retreat.
Cornelius: Can’t be me. I’m not going to the Pepperdine weekend retreat.
LoveMeDeux: Yeah I know! LOL! but i’m just saying. 17 people, one hotel, forced to interact with each other–come onnn.
Cornelius: yeah yeah cum on.
LoveMeDeux: Ha! my friend Daz, also a Pepperdine grad, just came by for dinner/ I wanted to ask him more about his retreat. “Who got laid on your retreat?” but my folks were here. Ha!
Cornelius: Sorry LoveMeDeux – your curiosity will have to wait for a week. 😀
LoveMeDeux: Haha! 😀 I’m so excited but I’m scared too, all of the above. Haven’t been this excited to go to school since Fall 1998.
Cornelius: LOL I was still a minor then.
LoveMeDeux: Oh shiz! 16, right?
Cornelius: Yup, and only about 5’2 then
LoveMeDeux: Ahhh if we hooked up I would have been a felon. Awwww!
Cornelius: Hahaha it wouldnt have happened :-/
LoveMeDeux: OMG you’re so funny.
Cornelius: Just being honest.
LoveMeDeux: It’s just funny thinking of us as 16 and 18. I mean seriously, I totally look up to you now, as you finish up your MBA.
Cornelius: LOL no its not funny! :-p
LoveMeDeux: Why not?
Cornelius: How so?
LoveMeDeux: Because, I would have been a “college girl” and you were a “high school boy”.
Cornelius: ooOooo LOL!
LoveMeDeux: That’s both hilarious and adorable at the same time. 🙂

So I guess grad students aren’t all that different from undergrad kids, who aren’t different from high schoolers who aren’t that different from elementary school students. The gossip mill is the very same, and so, as it were, is the mental age associated. Ha!

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Two Los Angelenos Ladies Serenely Discuss the State of The Bars In Los Angeles.

26 Apr

Dear Certain Men in Los Angeles,

It’s not very classy of you to announce your annual salary or the make and model of luxury automobile that you drive along with your name when introducing yourselves to us, thinking that it will help you get us undressed any faster.

Please cease and desist.

Best Regards,
The Ladies of Los Angeles.

P.S. It’s true what the bouncers say: white sneakers are never a good idea when trying to get into the bars on the weekends. Plus it makes you look like you just got out of gym class. Invest in a pair of Ken Coles.

MatchGirl: Did you ever hear Tila Tequila’s music? Watch this: Two Girls Sing Tila Tequila’s “Fcuk Ya Man”.
LoveMeDeux: No….the idea of her annoys me
MatchGirl: LMAO! her music is wacked!
LoveMeDeux: What the feck are these girls doing?
MatchGirl: They are singing Tila Tequila’s music.
LoveMeDeux: This makes my skin crawl.
MatchGirl: Thats her song “Fcuk Ya Man
LoveMeDeux: This is the stereotypical California girl. people think this is what we are ALL like. wow this hurts to watch. I stopped watching
MatchGirl: Yup! Embarrassing. she’s from Texas, though
LoveMeDeux: doesn’t matter if she is from Texas or not, people think of LA girls when they see this.
MatchGirl: GAH! I hate being stereotyped
LoveMeDeux: I don’t like it either. I have heard a lot of “You’re not like most LA girls!”, and that makes me wince because that means that people judged me–right up until that point where they decided to change their mind for some reason. I hate that.
MatchGirl: Yea.
LoveMeDeux: It’s the sadness of thinking “Hey this girl is juuust like all the others” and I have to prove to them that I’m not a bitch, a golddigger or a bimbo. That’s the triumvirate of LA girl categories.
MatchGirl: We’re not a bimbo. Goldigger. I DONT WANT YOUR MONEY. I am not sucking your dick if you drive a flashy car 😀
LoveMeDeux: LMAO! That’s MY POINT! Why do LA men think that I want to know what kind of car they drive? They offer that fecking information like I asked them their name. “Hi, my name is George, and I drive a Mercedes S Class.” I’m like, “Hi, my name is LoveMeDeux, and I couldn’t give a flying feck.”
MatchGirl: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
LoveMeDeux: Is that not true? Don’t you get this when we get out into LA? Is it just me?
MatchGirl: Yes, I do too. You always know what kind of car they have, where they work, and sometimes how much money they make, right away.
LoveMeDeux: This goes back to my number 1 reason to leave a party. Oh, I think it’s interesting to know where they work, what they do. That’s all fine. But I don’t want to know that if the only reason you want to tell me is because you think that’ll get you laid faster.
MatchGirl: Yea, I make 100k. Have a house in Paris, etc. Boat in the harbor, I’M RICH BITCH! Now get on your knees, and blow, ho!
LoveMeDeux: Yeah. no thanks dude. Haha!
MatchGirl: LMAO! You’re not giving me cheddar, So just ’cause you’re rich, I’m not sucking your cock.
LoveMeDeux: LOL!
MatchGirl: How does “I AM CEO OF A COMPANY.” turn into “BITCH GET ON YOUR KNEES!”
LoveMeDeux: I do not know! Good God!

Next weekend, MatchGirl and LoveMeDeux are supposed to go out with some Tweeples and other assorted friends. I’m certain we will be able to give you a great report back. Of course, we know that not all men in Los Angeles are so–we have too many good male friends from Los Angeles that have proven otherwise.

❤ to all our male friends out there who are keeping up the standard.

A True Feat of Douchery

27 Mar

Most Los Angeles men have an understanding.

It’s very simple: if they are douchey, we LA women will not put up with it, at all. We’re a pretty tough crowd, you know. Years of being stuck in ridiculously long commutes getting robbed of personal time as well as jostling for competition amongst the most rich, famous and beautiful have molded us into a highly evolved creature. A creature who has little time for bullshit, with most of us sporting the mantra of “Be nice, or be gone.”

I needed to share these next items via blog because I truly didn’t think men like this existed anymore in Los Angeles. I guess I was wrong. But before we go to the transcript, I will cover a few items to provide the most accurate reading experience to you.

Prefacing Facts:

  • I have met this person a total of one (1) time in person.
  • He is a total stranger who seemed like a nice person, or so I thought, by the fact that he met me halfway across the city to return my lost driver’s license to me after he had picked it up by chance from the floor of the Troubadour, when I had accidentally dropped it whilst seeing Dent May in February. (He found me on Facebook the morning after the concert and messaged me.)
  • I was so grateful when he found my driver’s license that when he asked to keep in touch on IM, I didn’t give it a second thought. Why not? We parted ways, and I smiled to myself as I thought, “Now there is a stranger who just imparted upon me a random act of kindness.” Of course I would want to keep in touch with such a nice person!
  • To further clarify, I have never touched him, kissed him, led him on, called him by a pet name, flirted with him, or otherwise shown him that I was interested in dating him.

Now that the stage is set, observe, if you will, a true feat of douchery.

Brad*: was up baby? how you
LoveMeDeux: Hi
Brad: baby, i miss you
LoveMeDeux: How are you? How’s life?
Brad: when you wana see me? i need some kisses

I have never, ever told him I wanted to see him.I’m lost. I never asked about it in my life. Wow. Also, why would he “miss” me?

LoveMeDeux: I will be out and about tomorrow
Brad:  but hun, you know i’m attracted to you. i just wana be honest w you
Brad:  i wana get to know you, i just wana be as up front with you as poss
LoveMeDeux: But…..Brad. Didn’t you tell me.. You’re seeing someone. I thought we were just friends.
Brad: are you looking for something serious? i would love to date you and get to know you.
Brad: but yea, i think your super cutie and smart
LoveMeDeux: so you’re *not* seeing anyone? You set the tone with that remark
Brad: i’m not “sleeping” with anyone
LoveMeDeux: What does that mean?
Brad: i’m just saying i would like to be with you. i’m open and chill

At this juncture, I am ready to delete him from my Blackberry foreverrrrr. But I was very curious to see the douchey extent to which he’d go. I decided to grill him like I didn’t give a shiz. Because I suddenly didn’t.

LoveMeDeux: Ok let me ask you. Are you seeing anyone else?
Brad: not like how i wana see you, so no
LoveMeDeux: That is not a straight answer.
Brad: just have been busy. i’m talking with 2 girls, nothing serious
LoveMeDeux: Ok. And how far does that go to
Brad: have not even kissed them. are you looking for something serious?
LoveMeDeux: I only date people who only date one person at a time.
Brad: i know, which i respect
LoveMeDeux: You are seeing other people, whether it be casual or not. To me that qualifies as your dance card being full.
Brad: baby, i just told you, i’m not sleeping with anyone
LoveMeDeux: Yes I know that, but having sex is not the indicator of a relationship. It’s more than just sex that’s important to me. When I am with a man, I expect him to see 1 person and 1 person only.
LoveMeDeux: Me. And vice versa. I am a loyal person.
Brad: not just that hun, hard to explain over IM
LoveMeDeux: Hah. No I get it! Worry not.
Brad: no, you don’t. like i said, it’s hard to explain over IM.

This guy is trying like crazy to figure out a way to salvage this situation and get me to see him. Why can’t he just come right out and say he just wants to sleep with me–and let me get on with the “No, thank you. Never.”

LoveMeDeux: Ok, Tell me. I’m listening
Brad: i would love to be intimate with you, of course, but also see movie, dinner. all that. and be respectful of you

How is trying to date me–plus two other women at the same time–being respectful of me? Did I not get a memo? What?

Brad: but i dont want something 100% commited. ya know – like if i’m sleeping with you, i’m with you. but i work a lot. just being honest, as i know you are too
Brad: if you would like to try something new with me, i would love it.
LoveMeDeux: Yeah…sorry…When I’m looking, I’m looking for a real relationship. A 100% commitment from both sides
Brad: true. i know. can you try a hybrid relationship?
LoveMeDeux: No, sorry. you’re very charming.

He was, until this bullshit.

Brad: 😉  so are you.
LoveMeDeux: But no. Absolutely not.
Brad: you funny. yea, it sucks i cannot see you the way i want to,

“I want to” being the key words. It’s all about what suits your needs, right? What he meant was, “It sucks that you can’t see this the way I see it so we can have a meaningless sexual relationship.” You want to have sex with me, but you don’t want to respect me and really date me like I deserve it.

LoveMeDeux: Sorry. But I can’t get into a relationship with someone whose mindset isn’t into real committed relationship as the eventuality
 Brad: well, okay, don’t you get lonely, and need some cuddle time. call me. not even sex, but like kissing, massages. i wana share those cool times with you.
LoveMeDeux: sorry. I can’t be with someone who is already talking to two women
Brad: if i stopped?
LoveMeDeux: I don’t have time fcuk around.
Brad: baby, not having sex and fucking around. just being there for you
LoveMeDeux: No. Sorry.
Brad: in a chilll way
LoveMeDeux: Yes…I get what you’re saying. But in my book, there is no “chill way”
Brad: ok, well. good to know
LoveMeDeux: You’re either in or you’re out. I’m hardwired like that.
Brad: true. cool
LoveMeDeux: Sorry. bye.
Brad: keep in touch.

Yeah, right. Let me get right on that. I totally want to keep in touch with you, sure.

(*As usual, names are changed to protect my sources. Even if this one was douchey. Special thanks to KT & PK for their help in picking this one out.)

That’s How It Goes.

19 Mar

Talking with MatchGirl, my new intertubes friend, about interesting exchanges with other citizens of the online world. She’s so witty, I had to share.. I love women who just speak what’s on their mind–like I try to do.

LoveMeDeux: omfg. dude…now we’re chatting on Gtalk. i love how the internet can be just as exciting if not more exciting than real life.
MatchGirl: yea, thats how it goes.
MatchGirl: twitter
MatchGirl: @replies
LoveMeDeux: yup
MatchGirl: Instant Message
LoveMeDeux: Direct Messages
LoveMeDeux: then, yup..
MatchGirl: emails
LoveMeDeux: HAHAHA
MatchGirl: PHONE
MatchGirl: then PLANE
MatchGirl: HAI
LoveMeDeux: LOL!
MatchGirl: webcam too
LoveMeDeux: HAHAAH
MatchGirl: hahahah 😀
LoveMeDeux: you are SOO FUNNY dude
LoveMeDeux: i’m posting this shit on my blog. you crack me up dude
MatchGirl: ive done my share 😛
LoveMeDeux: Haha
MatchGirl: thats how i met my man
MatchGirl: twitter
MatchGirl: and 12seconds.tv
MatchGirl: he fell in love with my videos B-)
LoveMeDeux: well sweetheart
LoVeMeDeux: your videos are VERY fall-in-loveable.
MatchGirl: awwwwww thank you 🙂

My Breakup Mix CD Would Contain…

16 Mar

I have often contemplated creating a break-up mix CD. Maybe one of these days when a romance ends and stings me strongly enough to motivate, I will really sit down and do it, but for now, here’s a preview of some of the songs that would be on it…

Dancefloor by Kylie Minogue

The lyrics say:

On the dancefloor
Gonna lose it in the music
On the dancefloor
Got my body gonna use it
On the dancefloor
The best that you never had but now you’ve lost me
So come on watch me getting over you

This girl is audacious enough to say “I was totally in love with you and gave it my all, but you’ve messed it up. So now watch me getting over you by having a great time and you will know what you’ve lost.” The defiant attitude is fantastic.

 

How Can You Mend A Broken Heart by Al Green

With lyrics like so:

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again

How can you not listen to this song post-breakup? Al Green’s soft, tenuous singing just stabs me in the heart every single time I hear this during post-breakup. This song encourages wallowing in the pain of the situation, but sometimes you have to have some Tanqueray & Tonic, shut yourself inside your house, and blast this song at too loud a volume to flush the pain out of your system. Embrace the pain to purge it!

 

Goodbye To You by Michelle Branch

I am not a Michelle Branch fan in any way, shape or form. But this one song just gets me.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

It’s actually a painful song in that she’s talking about everything being taken away from you. The line “Goodbye to everything that I knew” is the best as she puts her heartwrenching gut feeling into it. And isn’t it true that when a romance ends, the part that hurts the worst is that you’re giving up everything that you thought was real and tangible? Also, this may be strange, but whenever I know in my head that a romance is ending or about to end, I hear this song in my head. It’s almost like my head and heart know before I know it, and starts playing the theme song for me. The final nail in the coffin. Sad, but true. It’s like the “Ringtone of Impending Romantic Failure”. Ha!

 

Oh, How You Tear My Heart Asunder.

16 Feb

Have you ever listened to a song a million times, had it in heavy rotation on your iPod, and remember listening to it in college…

But then, one day, on an off-chance, you hear it randomly, and it not only suits your mood for the moment, but encapsulates your feelings?

You realise 
Cause she’s too nice to you 
And you’re too nice to her 
If you don’t let each other get buried 
Cause you know comes a time 
When love will unwind 
Somebody suffers what’s new, still you 
Do you know that it’s over 
Love can damage your health
 

Ah, Télépopmusik, that French electronica group from way back when. How you tear my heart asunder and make it ache so.

A Faux-ku For The Rainiest Day In Recent Memory.

5 Feb
An Aric-facilitated, heartbreak-inspired, Gtalk-manufactured Faux-ku for your reading pleasure.
I actually cried
When I was on the phone with him
I’ve met on Tuesday, It’s Thursday, It’s raining
And I can’t stand to not talk to him
But I can’t stand to talk to him
So it’s over.
It’s all over.

 

Somewhat later, Aric says the following, which I have deemed Quote of the Day:

 

“This is all a bit too soap opera for me. I would have ignored him and his beautiful jaw line today.”