Archive | April, 2009

Done & DONE.

30 Apr

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Lady Gaga, The Demise of S Bar & The Blonde Line.

29 Apr

I am a true advocate of the saying, “To each their own.” 

By this I mean I will just leave people alone to live their lives. I am not interested in trying to dissuade or persuade people to stop/start listening to certain music, or wearing certain clothes. The way I see it, I have to be this way, as I have always been a black sheep who likes the road less travelled by, and the only way I can demand respect from people is to give them their respect and space back.

But occasionally, I just have to stop and ask a friend what the hype is all about, regarding any number of things. Because I just don’t get it. And forgive me, I have to made a judgement, for my own sanity. Usually, friends like MatchGirl are there to tell me that I’m not insane.

LoveMeDeux: I just had to look up who Lady Gaga was. I am so glad I don’t get VH1 and MTV. I just realised how much time I save because I don’t have all this useless filler to take up space in my life.
MatchGirl: Ugh! She’s lame.
LoveMeDeux: I’m watching the vid for “Poker Face” and I don’ t understand what the feck she is saying.
MatchGirl: She’s better on mute.
LoveMeDeux: Haha!
MatchGirl: She is all over teh music news. And Twitter. Perez Hilton loves her. She’s Britneyish but Britney sings better. whatever.
LoveMeDeux: This is the kind of shit that they play at S Bar on a Saturday night when people are so drunk out of their minds that it sounds half-good on distortion.
MatchGirl: Yup.
LoveMeDeux: And i know you’re laughing at that. Fecking S BAR!
MatchGirl: Well, I know it’s true! Haha!
LoveMeDeux: S Bar!
MatchGirl: Bougie clubs suck for music. Ugh!
LoveMeDeux: i went there once. They let me in and I bypassed the blonde line. A friend was already inside with the bartender, so I used the name to get in.
MatchGirl: HAHAHAHAHHAAH the blonde line! OMFG! Dying laughing!
LoveMeDeux: Yeah, the BLONDE LINE. You know what I mean. Ha! oh shiz, here we go! 😀
MatchGirl: Blonde, fake tits.
LoveMeDeux: Btw, never go to S Bar. It is a tiny, 1-room apartment, packed with sleazy-looking people that plays the latest remix of the remix of the remix of that one song.

A few minutes later.

LoveMeDeux: Oh wow! S Bar is closed! Look!
Matchgirl: lmao HAHAHAHAHA!!

Tweetort

28 Apr

Tweetort
verb.

A portmanteau of “Tweet” plus “retort”. Tweetort.

Usage: “He tweeted some pretty rude remarks to me, but you should have seen my Tweetort.”

🙂

Two Los Angelenos Ladies Serenely Discuss the State of The Bars In Los Angeles.

26 Apr

Dear Certain Men in Los Angeles,

It’s not very classy of you to announce your annual salary or the make and model of luxury automobile that you drive along with your name when introducing yourselves to us, thinking that it will help you get us undressed any faster.

Please cease and desist.

Best Regards,
The Ladies of Los Angeles.

P.S. It’s true what the bouncers say: white sneakers are never a good idea when trying to get into the bars on the weekends. Plus it makes you look like you just got out of gym class. Invest in a pair of Ken Coles.

MatchGirl: Did you ever hear Tila Tequila’s music? Watch this: Two Girls Sing Tila Tequila’s “Fcuk Ya Man”.
LoveMeDeux: No….the idea of her annoys me
MatchGirl: LMAO! her music is wacked!
LoveMeDeux: What the feck are these girls doing?
MatchGirl: They are singing Tila Tequila’s music.
LoveMeDeux: This makes my skin crawl.
MatchGirl: Thats her song “Fcuk Ya Man
LoveMeDeux: This is the stereotypical California girl. people think this is what we are ALL like. wow this hurts to watch. I stopped watching
MatchGirl: Yup! Embarrassing. she’s from Texas, though
LoveMeDeux: doesn’t matter if she is from Texas or not, people think of LA girls when they see this.
MatchGirl: GAH! I hate being stereotyped
LoveMeDeux: I don’t like it either. I have heard a lot of “You’re not like most LA girls!”, and that makes me wince because that means that people judged me–right up until that point where they decided to change their mind for some reason. I hate that.
MatchGirl: Yea.
LoveMeDeux: It’s the sadness of thinking “Hey this girl is juuust like all the others” and I have to prove to them that I’m not a bitch, a golddigger or a bimbo. That’s the triumvirate of LA girl categories.
MatchGirl: We’re not a bimbo. Goldigger. I DONT WANT YOUR MONEY. I am not sucking your dick if you drive a flashy car 😀
LoveMeDeux: LMAO! That’s MY POINT! Why do LA men think that I want to know what kind of car they drive? They offer that fecking information like I asked them their name. “Hi, my name is George, and I drive a Mercedes S Class.” I’m like, “Hi, my name is LoveMeDeux, and I couldn’t give a flying feck.”
MatchGirl: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
LoveMeDeux: Is that not true? Don’t you get this when we get out into LA? Is it just me?
MatchGirl: Yes, I do too. You always know what kind of car they have, where they work, and sometimes how much money they make, right away.
LoveMeDeux: This goes back to my number 1 reason to leave a party. Oh, I think it’s interesting to know where they work, what they do. That’s all fine. But I don’t want to know that if the only reason you want to tell me is because you think that’ll get you laid faster.
MatchGirl: Yea, I make 100k. Have a house in Paris, etc. Boat in the harbor, I’M RICH BITCH! Now get on your knees, and blow, ho!
LoveMeDeux: Yeah. no thanks dude. Haha!
MatchGirl: LMAO! You’re not giving me cheddar, So just ’cause you’re rich, I’m not sucking your cock.
LoveMeDeux: LOL!
MatchGirl: How does “I AM CEO OF A COMPANY.” turn into “BITCH GET ON YOUR KNEES!”
LoveMeDeux: I do not know! Good God!

Next weekend, MatchGirl and LoveMeDeux are supposed to go out with some Tweeples and other assorted friends. I’m certain we will be able to give you a great report back. Of course, we know that not all men in Los Angeles are so–we have too many good male friends from Los Angeles that have proven otherwise.

❤ to all our male friends out there who are keeping up the standard.

Southwest Flight 372, Service To Oklahoma City.

24 Apr

This is just…unbelievably bad ass.


If I not the first person to say this, I’m sure, but if I had a flight attendant like this, I would actually pay attention.

I have listened to it four times now, and that’s four more times than when I fly!

Dream Car: A 1957 Chevy Bel Air Convertible

24 Apr

It’s built like a tank. It’s beautiful. It’s red. The chrome is amazing. And I want the red and white leather–with the piping.

It’s such an amazing, sexy car–and a total classic. How could you not want one? I’m not a bigtime car aficionado, but this is truly a dream car. I would play only Johnny Mathis or The Chordettes as I drive it around sunny So Cal…

Someone Make Me A Vomit Emoticon.

20 Apr

Because I am doing a statistics course online to prepare for an MBA program and was thus being quiet and not writing back readily in the chat window:

Elliot: Somebody is having fun with statistics
Janet: 😥 There isn’t a vomit emoticon.