I Want To Be Stuck In An Elevator With…

3 Apr

Stephen Colbert
Not only is he naturally hilarious, he’s ubersmart, rather handsome, and I get the sense that Stephen Colbert is a geek, deep down inside. I would quiz him on how he had the sheer nerve to stand up to Mr. Bush at the infamous White House Correspondent’s Dinner, tongue firmly in cheek, as well as how he keeps all the material he has to write and produce every night so fresh.

Ultimately, I would shake his hand, letting him know that I am yet another one of the iGeneration masses who use himself and Jon Stewart to gather news in a hilarious, but relevant, way.


Michel Gondry
“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”. “The Science of Sleep”. And countless influential commercials, short films, projects and collaborative efforts. How can you not love Michel Gondry?

Really, I don’t know where I’d start. How did you envision filming that one scene in “Eternal Sunshine” where Jim Carrey keeps walking back and forth on a darkened street, and Kate Winslet gets “erased”? What does it really mean at the end of “The Science of Sleep” when Gael García Bernal falls asleep in Charlotte Gainsbourg’s bed?


Coco Chanel
She was not just a fashion designer.

She was an arbiter of class. She died single, childless and ludicrously rich in the Ritz Hotel en Paris, and the world mourned her. I’m certain it’s because we all thought that fashion would go to the dogs after this.

Where would I begin? How did you know that the combination of cream and black tweed would look so sharp? Why choose a camellia to be your signature symbol, as opposed to a more obvious rose? How come your enamel jewelry looks so damned amazing, when everyone else’s looks shoddy and thrown together?


Bill Murray
The man needs no introduction. There are too many films, shows, appearances to tell him that I loved him in. There are also too many things he says that can put me in stitches. But truly, if I had but one single moment with Bill Murray, though he may never tell me, but I would ask nonetheless:

What did you say to Scarlett Johansson at the very end of “Lost In Translation”, when you leaned into her, whispered it so intimately, leading her to cry?

I must know!


A Real, Live Geisha
In the 1920s, there were approximately 80,000 geisha in Japan. Now, in the modern age, these numbers have fallen to somewhere between 1,000 to 2,000.

I want to know everything about their lives, as if I was trying to become a human recording of their amazing existence, before the “flower and willow world” they live in withers away in the face of the reality that maintaining geisha lifestyle, training and culture are seriously expensive.

Tell me everything! Demeanor, kimono, makeup, hair, dance, song, accoutrements, and even how they manage to keep balanced and strutting along smoothly on those geta sandals. I feel as if they are celebrities, keeping a tradition alive in a small, sheltered pocket, as the rest of the world encroaches upon them, slowly and surely.


Vampire Weekend
Seriously? I’m saying realtime jam session within the confines of the elevator with the “whitest band”, as StuffWhitePeopleLike.com’s Christian Lander declared them in a Salon.com interview. Ha!

Let me drum my fingers on the elevator banister as Ezra Koenig belts out the lyrics to “The Kids Don’t Stand A Chance”, or “Oxford Comma”, and I would fangirl out like crazy.


Graham Norton
He may just well be the funniest British man, ever. Truly.

Watching his show “So Graham Norton” on the BBC has left me in stitches. His inappropriate remarks delivered with a side of “devil may care” attitude, as well as the funny games he thinks up to involve his audiences, such as “Bring The Ugliest Gift You Have Ever Gotten To The Show”, and giving them prizes accordingly, leads me to believe that the man would be immensely entertaining whilst stuck inside a elevator.


Ewan MacGregor
I have given you very good reasons for the past 7 men and women that I would like to meet. Now let me give you a very blatantly carnal reason for this next one.


Ewan MacGregor. Yumm…

“Moulin Rouge”, “Trainspotting”, “Emma”, “Down With Love”…I don’t even need to get into his role as young Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Just, yumm….



3 Responses to “I Want To Be Stuck In An Elevator With…”

  1. sparklingamber 5 April 2009 at 1:23 pm #

    I wanna be stuck in an elevator with Dane Cook, Russel Peters, or Kevin McKidd.

  2. tarek 7 April 2009 at 1:06 pm #

    If you *really* want to know what Bill Murray said at the end of the film (one of my all time favourites, btw) you can find out here.

    But if I were you I’d skip it, I wish I did. It’s not that it’s *bad*, it’s actually quite good, it’s just some things are better left to your imagination. 😉

  3. lovemedeux 7 April 2009 at 7:43 pm #

    I couldn’t help it, Tarek, I had to watch. And that was actually quite good, thanks for finding that for me.

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